Call Me Mione
by wherewolf
Summary: Every sentence contains a fanfiction cliche. Snape cries, Dumbledore offers lemon drops, and Harry falls in love twice! What will Harry do about Voldemort? Does it matter?


Harry was about to throw himself out a window. His muggle uncle was beating at his door, and jumping out the window was his only escape.

"Get out here, boy!" Vernon yelled. He punched through the door, weaving everywhere because he was drunk.

"Okay," said Harry meekly and stepped toward his uncle. Vernon slapped Harry across the face, breaking Harry's ankle in the process.

Harry burst into tears. It wasn't until he wiped them away that he noticed Snape was standing in the doorway.

"Get your hands off my son," said Snape silkily. Vernon went pale.

"But I thought Lily--" stammered Vernon. "At school she never spoke and I thought--my Gryffindor friends and I..."

By now, Harry was lying in a pool of his own blood.

"Harry," said Snape tenderly.

They apparated to Hogwarts, but there was nothing Madame Pomprey could do for Harry. It was all up to Snape and his potions. He whipped out his Half Blood Prince book and concocted a potion he had invented. He handed it to Harry, who looked suspiciously at it.

"Just drink it," said Snape. It was Dreamless Sleep Potion with a touch of Stopper In Death Potion.

As Snape forced it down Harry's throat, Harry began to glow bright white. It was all Snape could do to keep from breaking down in tears. Harry was dying.

He had to talk to Dumbledore before he broke down. When he went up to the headmaster's room, Dumbledore said, "Lemon Drop?" Severus sank into a chair and began to cry. "Now Severus, my boy, don't take things so hard," said the kindly Headmaster. The older man looked into the younger man's eyes. The Potions Master was actually distraught about the raven haired boy, something the white haired Headmaster had never seen in the Death Eater's expression before.

Sirius Black burst through the door. "Where's my godson?" he demanded. "My boyfriend—Remus—and I want to know what happened to him."

Snape and Black glared at each other across the pensieve glittering on Dumbledore's desk. Snape pointed a long thin finger at Sirius and sneered, "Where's the rest of them?"

"Prongs is dead, in case you forgot," said Sirius drily. "Moony is living with me and Wormtail is in Azkaban."

Snape's mouth curled into a snarl--and a stag patronus swooped in through the door. "It's Harry!" shouted Padfoot, and they all raced to his bedside.

When they got there, Ron and Hermione stood by Harry's bedside. Harry, though pale, was murmuring something that sounded like, "'Mione?"

Hermione blushed. "He's asking for me. We've been going out since second year."

"What?" yelled Ron and he sloshed butterbeer down his front.

"Stop being jealous, Ron!" Harry yelled back. "Have you ever stopped and considered what I want? No, it's always about you and how poor you are and how bad you are at Quidditch. But no one ever thinks about me!"

Ron blinked. He'd accidentally hit himself with a Stupidifying spell in charms when his broken wand had backfired, and even though it was an accident, his mother had sent a Howler. "Yes, I'm jealous of you," he muttered.

A moan from the other bed surprised them. Snape pulled back the curtain to reveal Draco lying in bed with a black eye. McGonagall was feeding him broth.

Ignoring Draco, Snape leaned over Harry, feeling a fatherly protectiveness for him. Even though he and Harry had never bonded, seeing him lying in bed made him feel loving.

"Can I call you Severus?" asked Harry, realizing the Potions teacher smelled like cologne. Why hadn't he ever noticed before?

"But of course," said Snape. He put his arms around Harry, pulling him to his chest. Dumbledore's eyes twinkled.

"I remember the night my parents died!" sobbed Harry. "You were there!"

"Oh, Harry, you weren't supposed to know I loved Lily and that was why I was there the night they died. I never wanted you to find out."

"Wait a minute," drawled Draco. "What's going on, Mione sweetheart?"

"You're in love with _him_?" sputtered Ron.

"Yes," said Harry.

Confused by the turn of events, Harry decided it was time to get out of bed and apparate to Snape Manor where he would live with Snape for the summer. The bust of Salazar Slytherin opened the door for them with the password, "Bezoar." The room was elegantly decorated with green and silver couches and pillows.

A house elf hurried into the room. "Master Severus? Your scones are waiting."

"You can't make me eat one," yelled Harry. "Try and make me."

"It's quiet time," snarled Snape. "Read your potions tome while I cook dinner."

"But Severus...you have a house elf. Why are you cooking dinner?" Snape didn't appear to have heard him, so he repeated, "Severus Tobias Snape!"

With a shaking hand, Snape pointed his wand at Harry and yelled, "Detention!" A few sparks shot out of his wand tip. When the sparks hit Harry, he doubled over. His head felt as though it was about to burst open. He clutched at his scar and Voldemort burst out of it.

end


End file.
